


The Adventure of a main character that swears a lot

by IdiotStarfish



Category: Pocket Monsters: Omega Ruby & Alpha Sapphire | Pokemon Omega Ruby & Alpha Sapphire Versions
Genre: This was going to be an actual fic but since im tired and find everything funny not anymore i guess
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-14
Updated: 2019-08-14
Packaged: 2020-09-01 03:14:12
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 660
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20251234
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/IdiotStarfish/pseuds/IdiotStarfish
Summary: May is the ORAS protagonist but she's really bad at it





	The Adventure of a main character that swears a lot

May looked through the now open doors of the moving van, Littleroot Town peeking through the opening. She stepped out of the van, looking around. Her mother walked up to her and yada yada yada, she went up to her new room and looked in the mirror, perched up on the wall. She walked closer to it, peering at the ribbon in her hair, and how smooth and clean her light brown hair looked.  
Oh no.  
This could only mean one thing. 

Her father had warned her about what might happen. "When a child your age moves to a new region, they'll probably become the hero of the world after getting their first Pokemon. That's called main character syndrome. So just...be prepared."  
_SHIT._ Welp, there goes her ENTIRE CHILDHOOD. TIME TO DIE. She ran downstairs, bursting into the new living room with a newfound speed. "MOM, IT HAPPENED."  
A very loud _FUCK_ could be heard.

"WHATDOIDOGREATARCEUSIMAPROTAGONIST"  
"I'll bet you your status as the world's future hero that your story can only continue once you meet your rival. It's probably Professor Birch's kid, Brendan!"  
She groaned. "Great. A side character to get emotionally attached to. And they're either going to die or suffer emotional consequences because because my fans _SUCK."_  
"You...don't have any fans yet?" Completely ignoring her, she walked out the door. _I wonder where that Brendan kid lives?_ She thought, looking around the small town. Well, probably in the only other house in the damn town. Didn't take a genius to figure that one out. Where did all the other NPCs in this town live? _Oh, wait._ She thought. _They're NPCs. They don't have houses unless they're meant to be in them._

She walked into the house, immediately getting confronted by...probably Brendan's mom. Since she's the main character, she just casually skipped the dialogue and walked upstairs, where she ran into a boy about her age.  
"Oh! Hi!" He said once he saw her, clearly too nice to be a simple NPC. Yep, this was definitely Brendan. More dialogue was skipped. After he left the room, only then did this thought come to her mind: _Oh no. Oh no he's cute. Oh no I'm going to have a bunch of slightly romantic cutscenes involving him if he's my rival. Uh oh._  
Now that that stressful situation was over, she and got a Torchic, since she is a main character, and she needs a starter Pokemon. Time to wander over to Petalburg and into the gym. "Hey. Hey Dad. Hey Dad guess what. I'm a main character now."  
Yet another _FUCK_ was heard.  
The a kid with green hair walked in. Green hair meant important side character — much better than yet another rival to immediately fall in love with. She helped him catch a Ralts, but the only problem was, it was shiny. All the way back to the gym, _"fuck you"_ was repeated in her mind.

"Yeah thanks for letting me play with my Pokemon, I guess. Later." She then got the fuck away from that innocent little bastard and his shiny Ralts. 

Petalburg woods, though it had no shiny Ralts', was much prettier than she'd imagined. It was a pleasant walk until this dumb fucking scientists needed her help. Team Aqua turned out to be one shady motherfucking group but whatever right. Unimportant. She fucking demolished thay guy's poor Poocheyena. Then she walked away like it was nothing. 

Like twenty minutes later she arrived in Rustboro, running into Brendan again. He officially became the only valid person on this planet, main character or not. She beat the shit out of Roxanne fairly quickly, and then waltzed on into the cave to beat up Team Aqua again, and suddenly she was going to Dewford. Yeah, makes sense for a main character. She destoryed Brawly, met Steven — who was an...interesting side character, apparently — and then hopped on over to Slateport to ruin her life some more.


End file.
